I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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