is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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