found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
