I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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