i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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