plz talk dirty to me
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
