hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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