Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
