I showed him my bush... on skype.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
