hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't deserve a penis
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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