I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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