so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
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he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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