I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
