Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
