reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
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I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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