Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
