After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
