C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize