Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
