would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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