he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize