so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
