i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
