you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
