Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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