I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
