she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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