Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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