After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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