kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
