Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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