Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
