Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
