could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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