I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You can't just leave with hair like that
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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