You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
