when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
