Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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