8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize