We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
