I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
