whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
