Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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