she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
