he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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