Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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