sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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