i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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