Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
