I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
