its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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