we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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