i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
