no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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