Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We are two peas in an std pod
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
