I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
