he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
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I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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